Expectations

I’ve just submitted a script to the BBC Writers Room (literally about 10 minutes before ago, as I write this). I mentioned my plan to my Screenwriting tutor, who warned me that the Writers Room has bad rep for being a cosmetic exercise that rarely leads to anything. This seemed fair warning from a man with a strong independent, self-publishing, go-and-film-it-yourself mentality, and whilst even the blurb on the page says it’s rare the scripts themselves will be made, having heard Anne Edyvean talk at the Mosely Litfest about the opportunities it has opened for some writers, it seemed worth a punt. If nothing else, it was an excuse to extract it from the dusty recesses of my hard drive and sort out the issues raised in my feedback.

Given the low chance of success for breaking in with any creative project, I’ve generally found that keeping my expectations low whilst repeatedly butting my head against the wall is the best way to stay sane during this process*. There was a wonderful blog post Kristen Lamb made some time back (I mentioned it in an old blog post running along a similar theme as this) about the real odds of success… It basically says the odds are crappy, but…if only 5% of people get through the slush, and only 5% of those get a request for full, and only 5% of those get signed by the agent…etc etc…well the only way to succeed is to keep trying. Because even if the odds are against you, as long as you’re working on your craft, and you’re submitting, eventually something will hit. There’s no guarantee it’s going to be the success you might want, but if you don’t try, then it will never happen.

This was the essence of the conversation I had with my husband on Tuesday morning, the first real “day off” I’ve had since my assignment was in. After the kids were at school & nursery, the laundry was on, I’d washed up, cleaned the cooker, even listened to a particularly excellent episode of the Ditchdiggers podcast, with Lexi Alexander talking scripts and films…even then, before emailing my tutor, as I eyed up the chaos that is our house, I asked “should I even be wasting my time?”

Lovely man that he is, my husband replied “You’re not wasting your time.”

“There’s pretty much zero chance of anything coming out of this.”

He shrugged. “There’s only zero chance if you don’t submit.”

And that’s the (slightly rambling) story of why our house is still a mess, (but I’ve got my first sitcom submitted to the BBC! Huzzah!)

 

 

*Whatever you might hear to the contrary…

Levelling Up

Life feels like it’s whizzing past so frantically these last few months that I’ve gone into survival mode and stopped even thinking about how long it is since I’ve done all the things I promised myself I’d do regularly (like updating this blog!). But there are a few things I’ve been meaning to come on and talk about to do with my writing.

Even though my productivity has gone down (illness, work, life all taking over), a few exciting things have been happening that make me feel like I’m levelling up as a writer.

The first boost I got recently was my first personalised rejection. And this made me ridiculously happy. Being a now loyal listener of Mur Lafferty‘s ISBW podcast I’ve been trying to embrace the rejections as they come (they’ve not been prolific because my first submission sat for about 8 months at one of the big publishers and I’ve been slow getting more pieces up to a standard I’m happy to send out.). But a few days ago I got a rejection that was not only personalised, but positively glowing (at least I’m taking it as that!) about the piece. This came at a much needed time as I was pushing through exhaustion from work, kids etc and starting to wonder if I should keep beating myself with this whole writing malarkey. Clearly, yes, because a few days later…

I got accepted onto a Masters course in Creative Writing!!

This is a biggie for me, because I’d already handed in my notice (teaching jobs come with ridiculous notice periods so I had to take a punt!). Although the course isn’t a heavy time commitment (2hrs on a Weds morning, which after a Science based, lab filled undergrad degree seems nothing! I know there’s more to it than that, with reading etc. but still…), just having an day a week to focus on writing feels like a luxury. I decided on the part-time course because I’m doing this for me and my craft; I don’t need to rush through for a qualification, I can afford to spend time really honing my skills. It wouldn’t be possible without the new postgraduate loan scheme, and I’ll have to pick up cash to cover the bills with supply teaching, but with my eldest starting school (eeek!), and my youngest 3 in May, we’re looking at saving multiples of thousands of pounds in nursery fees, which takes some of the pressure off, whilst also making me acutely aware of how unsustainable spending every holiday marking, planning and report writing is if I want to actually be there for my kids as they grow up!

So I’m allowing myself a few weeks to recover, get the house in a less chaotic state of papers, outgrown baby things and grime, then from September I’ll be ready to pick the pace up again and get stuck in to my course.

A Brief Update…

I’m torn. Part of me feels guilty that it’s been so long, but the other part of me is trying to be a realist and remember exactly how hectic life has been recently. That I’ve passed out before 9pm every night this week (often before the kids have) is tribute to how exhausting things have been.

I forget exactly where I was the last time I blogged*, but this is where I am now:

  • The first draft of my second novel is complete, rested (a little) and now being worked on. I burned out a bit at the end, so spend a couple of much needed weeks off playing Fallout (3…sadly I’m not flush enough with cash or time to justify updating our PS3 yet). I was reluctant to get back into it, but made myself tart up a chapter to take to my writing group, and not only was it well received but seeing the prose tidied up gave me hope again for the story as a hole, so I grabbed at the momentum and have been working on it since.

 

  • I’m going against the advice to print and read the whole thing in one go. I tried it last time, and found I got overwhelmed by the pages of scrawl and notes everywhere. Because I know a lot of the issues that are in the first draft I’m doing a brief read-edit to get the whole a bit tidier before I do the Big Read. Hopefully it will help me get a better overview with fewer things to niggle over.

 

  • I’ve mentioned before that I like to use a spreadsheet to log my wordcount. I’ve found that logging my editing days and notes is just as motivational. It lets me see how well I’ve actually done when I’m on a good run. I’m focusing on time spent, change in wordcount (goes up and down depending on what scenes I’m working on need), notes on revision tasks undertaken, and general notes (usually along the lines of “Urrrgh, so tired…”).

 

  • I’ve been working on a couple of short stories-one horror, one children’s picture book (diversifying much?!). Both started well then stalled for different reasons. I’m hoping to dip back into them when I get a bit of inspiration or I need a break from novel revisions.

 

  • I’ve been reading more. Largely because I got to actually have some holiday during my recent holiday, and I remembered how lovely it is to read a book properly instead of in 1-2 line chunks before someone interrupts me, so I’ve been making more of an effort to get those longer lengths of time (although that’s largely come at the expense of writing time, so I’m not sure how sustainable it will be. Hopefully as the kids get bigger and life gets a little calmer…hahaha!)

 

  • I’ve been outlining(!!!) my next novel. This was partly something I’d intended to do, then used to procrastinate starting revisions! As it is I’m enjoying dipping in, partly because it’s my Big One that I devised the concept for before I’d even started writing my first novel (it was initially going to be a board game, but it turns out board game design is HARD! Who’d have thought it, huh?!), so it’s already been stewing a while, and I’m happy to let it grow. The most productive parts have been writing short character pieces and scenes in the world, rather than trying to force a plot (I tried this and have scrapped most of what I came up with because it felt so…forced!)

So that’s pretty much me for now. I’ll try to make more effort to update, and who knows, even talk about non-writing things!

 

*I could (and maybe should) check, but I promised myself this would be quick else I would have argued myself out of logging on!

Review of Birmingham Royal Ballet’s Swan Lake*

My review of the Royal Ballet’s performance of Swan Lake, featured by #TheCultureHour

#TheCultureHour WordPress Blog

Guest review by Leila Howl

Review of Birmingham Royal Ballet’s Swan Lake*

It was Saturday afternoon at the Birmingham Hippodrome, and I was fondly recalling the magic of the Nutcracker as a child. We decided that our trip to the ballet was well overdue when my grandmother chipped in with flashbacks to Margot Fonteyn at Covent Garden for half a crown**. With the Royal Ballet now comfortably based in Birmingham we had little excuse not to come, although the joys of inflation meant that our tickets were somewhat more expensive (by a factor of almost 500 for my grandmother)!

swan lake

From the moment the lights dimmed and the excellent Symphonia struck the first chords of Tchaikovsky’s haunting score, the effect was captivating. The stunning court costumes and choreography were enhanced by clever lighting and deceptively simple scenery.

The dancing, of course, was beautiful. Initially I was concerned that Mathias Dingman as Benno might outshine the Prince himself, with…

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My life changed, literally overnight, when I started keeping a success journal

I’ve found journaling a great outlet to keep me sane when times are tough; I’ve always expressed myself best through writing. But I can dwell on the negatives, so forcing myself to add something positive each time helps pull me out the negativity and put things in perspective. This has reminded me I should do it more!

What Inspires Your Writing?


As a writer, what’s the point of keeping a success journal?

Isn’t keeping a success journal extra work? I mean, after hours of writing, who wants to crack open a diary and write even more?

Valid questions, all?and that’s what I thought, too. I first learned about the concept of a success journal at a seminar by T. Harv Eker, a motivational speaker who has helped millions of people attain financial freedom.

The concept is simple, really: every day, write down the 5 biggest successes you had that day.

That’s it. Simple, but powerful.

So I bought myself a notebook, and each evening, I would mentally review my day and write down every positive thing I could think of.

I am not exaggerating when I say that the first week I kept a success journal, I became a success junkie. I actually started going out of my way to do…

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Going Pro—Earning Rhino Skin & Learning Which Opinions Matter

Sometimes it feels like much of my life to date has been spent trying to please other people. That’s partly why I love writing. Right now it’s solely for me: my dream, my catharsis. The thought of putting stuff out there is scary, but I’m getting much better at discarding toxic opinions, and (after the initial blow), learn so much from genuine critical advice. It’s hard to remember that well meant, positive advice can as harmful, sometimes.

Kristen Lamb's Blog

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I heard somewhere that, statistically speaking, 10% of people will simply not like us, no matter what we do or how much we try. Whenever we decide to do something remarkable or even just different, this is when we’re most likely to encounter push-back.

Also, if we enjoy any measure of success or achievement, expect to be knifed. This is reality. We cannot control others, only ourselves and how we respond and what we choose to internalize. As writers, we’ll experience this with friends, family and even strangers.

Ah, strangers…

If I met someone and told them I was an HR manager, most people likely wouldn’t reply, “No I meant, what is your real job?”

I wouldn’t have to give a resume of all my accomplishments and proof I made money as an HR manager or even a roster of how many people I had in my charge. Yet, no one seems…

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Writing vs. The Second Law of Thermodynamics

Phew! After a progressively more intense few months, I have (hopefully!) emerged from a teething bout from hell. Last night I managed to get an hour to finally start some of the huge checklist of revisions that I’ve been itching to do since New Year.

It’s felt totally overwhelming trying to work out where to start. But as my ms pinged onto the screen I was relieved to see it 1) all intact still and B) starting to fall into a better order than my brain had allowed me to remember.

So thank you, entropy. A little less energy can lead the way to literary equilibrium after all.

(Although maybe not a long term strategy for ever finishing anything…)